Planning the future, needing to know where we are heading is something most of us are constantly trying to control. More and more I not only realize but also experience that this is an illusion. To some extent we can control certain things, but for most of our life we don’t know where it is heading. It sometimes feels this goes up to 95 % of our lives.

That’s how I rolled into some unexpected and very spontaneous actions the last week.  Somehow life had some big changes for me in store, unplanned, unknown, uncontrolled changes. Since I started to realize and experience that change is uncontrollable and the future unplanable, changes are happening faster and faster.

Unconsciously I have been trying to hold on to old patterns. Not being aware of the tricks I was playing out on myself. Before last weekend this was all still very much unconscious, until two of my friends and me fell into one of the unplanned actions. We were dreaming out loud about “How great it would be to all tree attend one of Eric Dowsett’s* workshops again. After 1,5 hour of “yeh but, no but, yeh but, no but, yeh but,...”, hesitating, resistance, seeing big rocks and obstacles on the way, we decided to take a deep breath and press the button. 32 hours later we were in the middle of Ireland looking at Eric’s face ready to let go of our fears of change. Two days of becoming aware, noticing, letting go, feeling and observing, doors and portals being opened, energies being shifted, and our internal hard drive being “defragmented”. Hearts were being opened, obstacles removed, fears being released and change being welcomed.

All my fears came to surface in this workshop. My fears of the unknown, fear of the future, fear of making the right or wrong choices and anxiety attached and surrounding that fear.  It took a lot of courage, strength and a whole lot of love and support to look at those fears, to experience them, without judgement, to simply see them for what they are; “just fear and anxiety”.

Another thing I needed to deal with is the fact that I keep hoping and dreaming of certain outcomes. It is one of those automatic processes that is so old and so automatic but it really gets me nowhere but in trouble. Cause somehow I only seem to hope and dream of the impossible. How easy and wonderful my life could be if I can let go of hoping and dreaming and really life only in this moment.

Looking at those fears and automatic patterns I realized I can bring them back to only one thing; ”not being able to control what will happen”. With that comes a certain fear of change as well. If I cannot control what is happening, is that what is happening what I really want?

Letting go of all these thoughts for a bit, I remembered a quote someone once made; “Sometimes not getting what you want is what you need”. That’s the answer to letting go of all your fears. I really don’t need to know what will happen. If only I will remember this when old patterns are kicking in…

* for more info on Eric’s workshops check www.ericdowsett.com